Is there a second chance after you fucked up with that special ONE?

We all have a special one girl from our past. Most of the time we fucked up and by the reason we were extremely needy and a complete idiot looser. Is there a way back? I will tell you my story about it.

By the time I met my last crush, I was on a moderate level of seduction skills already, with some experience. But deep in my heart I felt her value is above mine. I started with cocky and ignorant style, and I was surprised, it worked, and she started a romance with me. I knew I have to stay in control of my emotions, and not to "fall in love", but it was too challenging, she was so hot. She had a boyfriend that time, but we were planning our new future. Our relationship lasted a few weeks, it was secret, and we had not sex (only petting). She left her boyfriend, but the very next day she changed her mind and dumped me. She returned to her boyfriend and I was completely broken up. I just couldn't controll myself. I was upset, jelaous, angry and needy. I tried to change her mind, aking her, talking about logical reasons, and so on. I knew it's probably not leading anywhere, but I still tried, I made a complete idiot of myself. The worst memory of our brake up meeting is, when I asked her to give me a last hug. LOL it was so pathetic, I thought I am in a romantic movie. Oh. My. God.

Times went by, I started to feel better, but I was thinking about her a lot. I started to realise how silly I was in the end of our relationship. After one month she ended the relationship with her boyfriend. I tried to start chat with her sometimes, or meet her. She was kind, but nothing more. I tried to be cool, and acting like I am OK, but when she showed some little kindness, or in some cases she initiated a chat conversation, I always turned into a needy puppy. This stage longed 5-6 months from our brake up. Then I made a decision I am completely freezing her and not contacting her. Maybe if she will, I will ignore her. I was angry.

5 months after our last conversation she started to text me. Some birthday things for our common friend, but nothing she couldn't make without me. She was kind and positive. I was so proud of myself I managed to not contact her for months waiting for her initiation, and suddenly it happened. By this time I was communicating high value on facebook, photos with girls, and so on.

We exchanged a few funny messages in two weeks, then we met on that birthday party. I was ignorant in the whole evening, making fun with my friends. She was looking at me very often. At the end of the night she was very open to me and wanted to talk with me. I started to open to her. We leaved the party and had a long conversation about everything. I was keeping the distance for a time and trying to not talk romantic or anything the whole time. Just made her sure, I have an awesome life after her, and not considering to jump to her arms instantly. She talked more about old times, and asked more about me, wether I have a girlfriend and things like that. She touched me accidentally sometimes. Then I started to escalate, I decided to try to make sex with her. It was fine, but she stopped me at some stage. We had a kiss. Then I said, no problem, and drove her home, beeing absolutely calm and cool for the whole road. Nothing about us, about tomorrow, just making fun how I will help her to find a nice new boyfriend.

I didn't texted her for 3 days. Then I did with some funny things, and she was very positive and open.

I feel I am on charge. I think from this position I can make from this relationship anything. I know exactly how should I act to reach this. The problem is, it's still extremely challenging. I have more experience today. I don't react that fast and automatically, than a few months ago. I make an image in my brain about how my biological instincts and hormons are trying to controll me, and I am resisting them consciously. When I do that, she reacts exactly the way I like. It is really like a game about how good are you in controlling your inner mammal, when you know what to do. Don't follow your heart in case of romantic things, or you will be fucked up. So my story with her didn't end yet. My months of ignorance towards her was my first step, and my self-controll after we met was the second key element of the comeback I managed to make from that awful situation I created for myself. This last paragraph is usefull for every relationship with women, so I hope I helped you to be a more succesfull and conscious person.

Hot girls, bad feelings

I just wanted to share some of my thoughts from today. Maybe you will find them familiar. For me it’s often very helpful to write down my thoughts, and I recommend you the same.

Today I was on an all-day business conference. The women was gorgeous. The visitors and the hostesses too. On my way to the conference I felt confident, but when I met the beautiful hostesses waiting to check me in, an old feeling just came up in me. It feels like „I am the little shy weak poor guy from my past, and I just want to go in, please don’t notice me, I don’t want to bother or disturb these girls, it would look embarrassing, I am so sorry…”. Maybe a little bit I am checking the hostess eyes, while she is searching my name, maybe I even try a tiny joke on that she is searching too long, but only quietly, so she don’t even hear that, and I feel even more uncomfortable. My confidence had suffered a strong attack, so it made my whole day (for worse).

My look was perfect, but I just didn’t feel the good flow. I was shy till the end of the day. I knew it’s all in my head, but It was still so hard to be the cool guy I use to be sometimes. I was practicing to change my mindset during the less interesting presentations and during the breaks. I was visualizing myself as a highly successful man, who has “at home” a couple of hot girlfriends like these ones next to me. I instantly felt an upraise in my calmness and my movements slowed down. It felt good, but I was still thinking about why the hot girls are not eyeing me up. Some of them did that, but I just don’t bothered, probably my mind wanted to strengthen the idea of I am a looser.

It was an interesting, and motivating day towards self-development.